I am sick and tired of listening to talking heads tell me I live in world of crap. Don't get me wrong, I am a cynic, but it has all gotten to be a little too much it seems.
I sit here now, during what is supposedly the worst economic crisis our country has faced in a century, typing on a laptop computer, in an air-conditioned room, in a house that has running water and cable television, and easy access to a Wal-Mart, a Best Buy, and five Starbucks. I drive a car everywhere I go. I am free to do as I please. I buy super soft toilet paper, and am five minutes away from a hospital. I am well fed, well clothed, and well kept. I can read and write. And I am considered poor in this country.
See my issue. It is insanity to think we are living in terrible times. These are miraculous days my friends. These are days when people we love have survived illnesses and are alive today that wouldn't have 50, 40, or even a decade ago. These are days when not only have the will but the ability to leave our planet in a better condition than when we found it. This is a wonderful time to be alive.
And I am grateful.
I have a good life.
I have a better life than 95% of the people of this world.
And I have the ability and freedom to strive for more.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Give me a G!
That's a stupid title but I'm going with it, because to me blogs are kind of like an homage to Keroauc and Joyce. You only move forward not back. That and I'm lazy. And out of ideas.
So anyhow, a little about myself.
My name is Gabe.
I'm a chick. And by that I mean a female of the human persuasion, not an infantile chicken. Just thought I'd clear up the confusion.
And before you ask if it's pronounced Gabby, or say how unusual, or ask what my parents were thinking I'll save you the trouble. No, it's just Gabe, yes it is unusual, and for reasons very similar (in most cases) to why your name is whatever it is. My parents liked it and it's worked out for me. I am a Gabe.
I like books so much I majored in English which means I got a degree in B.S. And I'm good at it.
My favorite game is called "What if?" and that's where my father and I try to improve stories on television. And then we say the other should write for whatever show is on and then it starts all over again. Pointlessly awesome as are most of my conversations.
I stay up way too late.
This post is kind of lame so I'm going to end it. If you have any questions holler back.
So anyhow, a little about myself.
My name is Gabe.
I'm a chick. And by that I mean a female of the human persuasion, not an infantile chicken. Just thought I'd clear up the confusion.
And before you ask if it's pronounced Gabby, or say how unusual, or ask what my parents were thinking I'll save you the trouble. No, it's just Gabe, yes it is unusual, and for reasons very similar (in most cases) to why your name is whatever it is. My parents liked it and it's worked out for me. I am a Gabe.
I like books so much I majored in English which means I got a degree in B.S. And I'm good at it.
My favorite game is called "What if?" and that's where my father and I try to improve stories on television. And then we say the other should write for whatever show is on and then it starts all over again. Pointlessly awesome as are most of my conversations.
I stay up way too late.
This post is kind of lame so I'm going to end it. If you have any questions holler back.
Complimentary Advice
So you're having a war of (kind) words?
Here is the hierarchy as I see it of complimentary action from least to the ultimate.
1. Air Guns--while you are attempting to be original you're not, you're being a fucking gurm. Stop. Now.
2. A weak handshake--whether preventable or not, they're creepy and weird and that's how they make you look. I don't care if you're the CEO of Microsoft and you're giving me a billion dollars; a weak handshake makes you look like the creepy guy on the corner who wears velcro shoes.
3. Nonspecific Praise--You're great! That's awesome! Wow! Qualify your statements people.
4. An E-Card--LAME
5. Thumbs up--A Classic by any means but slightly neutral
6. A wink and nod--Silent, a little bit sinister. too cool for words. Nice.
7. A hearty handshake--Also classic except when it's too hearty and it feels like someone is using your arm as a pumpjack then it's right above Air guns. And you never want to be close to air guns.
8. A real card--Depending on the card.
9. A cake-- Say it with food. It's the celebratory food of choice. Although I really don't know why. I mean I love cake, but their are some equally delicious pies. Why does the pie get the shaft?
10. Specific Praise and Letters-- i.e. That performance was like watching a baby bird take it's first successful flight. Brilliant and astounding. There is something about an articulated statement that seems so achingly surreal in this day and age.
11. Kissing feet, rings, etc.--Archaic yes, but also sort of well awesome. Okay maybe that's weird but it's like you're in league with tyrants and old world priests and kings who ruled with iron fists and looked down on the meager peasantry. So if you've got a power fetish I bet this ranks a lot higher on your list.
12. Frankenscense and Myrrh--Only because we don't really know what to do with that stuff any more. That and I know frankenscense is like inscense and if it smells like patchouli then really only the thought counts.
13. Custom T-Shirts-- With phrases like "Silva is Gold" and "Cody Foote--I'd Hit That" say it loud and proud with iron on letters. (addendum: But not "I Cum for Kyle" That is just gross.)
14. Tattoo of a Name-- While you'd think this would rank higher, it doesn't, because of advances in laser removal, the ability to ink over, and the fact that you could just date women named SUE for the rest of your life if you were that concerned.
15. Spray-Painting a Water Tower--The ultimate redneck compliment is also a very smart bet. It contains danger, strategy, forethought, and resonance. It is actually really thoughtful when you think about it.
16. Buying someone a Star--Unique profound and all around funny.
17. Tattoo of a Face--Okay there is nothing anyone can come up with that is a bigger compliment than getting a tattoo of another person's face on your body. Especially if that person isn't Elvis or dead. I mean the fact that you are willing to walk around, if even for a short time with Jack Smith's face on you bicep makes you the winner. Some will say no one would take a joke this far. I say "You're awesome." Then I shoot them the air guns and strut off into the night.
Here is the hierarchy as I see it of complimentary action from least to the ultimate.
1. Air Guns--while you are attempting to be original you're not, you're being a fucking gurm. Stop. Now.
2. A weak handshake--whether preventable or not, they're creepy and weird and that's how they make you look. I don't care if you're the CEO of Microsoft and you're giving me a billion dollars; a weak handshake makes you look like the creepy guy on the corner who wears velcro shoes.
3. Nonspecific Praise--You're great! That's awesome! Wow! Qualify your statements people.
4. An E-Card--LAME
5. Thumbs up--A Classic by any means but slightly neutral
6. A wink and nod--Silent, a little bit sinister. too cool for words. Nice.
7. A hearty handshake--Also classic except when it's too hearty and it feels like someone is using your arm as a pumpjack then it's right above Air guns. And you never want to be close to air guns.
8. A real card--Depending on the card.
9. A cake-- Say it with food. It's the celebratory food of choice. Although I really don't know why. I mean I love cake, but their are some equally delicious pies. Why does the pie get the shaft?
10. Specific Praise and Letters-- i.e. That performance was like watching a baby bird take it's first successful flight. Brilliant and astounding. There is something about an articulated statement that seems so achingly surreal in this day and age.
11. Kissing feet, rings, etc.--Archaic yes, but also sort of well awesome. Okay maybe that's weird but it's like you're in league with tyrants and old world priests and kings who ruled with iron fists and looked down on the meager peasantry. So if you've got a power fetish I bet this ranks a lot higher on your list.
12. Frankenscense and Myrrh--Only because we don't really know what to do with that stuff any more. That and I know frankenscense is like inscense and if it smells like patchouli then really only the thought counts.
13. Custom T-Shirts-- With phrases like "Silva is Gold" and "Cody Foote--I'd Hit That" say it loud and proud with iron on letters. (addendum: But not "I Cum for Kyle" That is just gross.)
14. Tattoo of a Name-- While you'd think this would rank higher, it doesn't, because of advances in laser removal, the ability to ink over, and the fact that you could just date women named SUE for the rest of your life if you were that concerned.
15. Spray-Painting a Water Tower--The ultimate redneck compliment is also a very smart bet. It contains danger, strategy, forethought, and resonance. It is actually really thoughtful when you think about it.
16. Buying someone a Star--Unique profound and all around funny.
17. Tattoo of a Face--Okay there is nothing anyone can come up with that is a bigger compliment than getting a tattoo of another person's face on your body. Especially if that person isn't Elvis or dead. I mean the fact that you are willing to walk around, if even for a short time with Jack Smith's face on you bicep makes you the winner. Some will say no one would take a joke this far. I say "You're awesome." Then I shoot them the air guns and strut off into the night.
So apparently...
I'm a doofus.
Who knew?
I created a blogger account last year and betwixt the waning hours that led from that to this, I have completely blocked out what email account I used and what magically delicious passphrase I concocted. See. I used big person words there to make me seem brighter, yet alas I am not.
So I had to create a new one. Not that, it's really an issue. I have forty bajillion email accounts, a facebook, flickr, myspace, and god only knows what else. I even have an account at lifetime tv, to play the games and discuss the golden girls and made for tv movies.
Oh well. Such is life in the digital age.
I am going to post the lone entry from my other account because it's funny and so alone over there. And it's not plagiarism. Actually it might be but I don't give a shit.
But back to an unrelated point.
I like blogger.
It's very clean and simple here. Straight forward. No glittering "It's a boys" or song player that begin playing loudly for no reason or announcing that I have won a Ipod. That's why the economy is in the crapper, no one's paying for their IPods apparently, or their mortgages.
I'm going to post a couple more post now so I won't seem like such a loser.
Not that anyone is reading this.
Who knew?
I created a blogger account last year and betwixt the waning hours that led from that to this, I have completely blocked out what email account I used and what magically delicious passphrase I concocted. See. I used big person words there to make me seem brighter, yet alas I am not.
So I had to create a new one. Not that, it's really an issue. I have forty bajillion email accounts, a facebook, flickr, myspace, and god only knows what else. I even have an account at lifetime tv, to play the games and discuss the golden girls and made for tv movies.
Oh well. Such is life in the digital age.
I am going to post the lone entry from my other account because it's funny and so alone over there. And it's not plagiarism. Actually it might be but I don't give a shit.
But back to an unrelated point.
I like blogger.
It's very clean and simple here. Straight forward. No glittering "It's a boys" or song player that begin playing loudly for no reason or announcing that I have won a Ipod. That's why the economy is in the crapper, no one's paying for their IPods apparently, or their mortgages.
I'm going to post a couple more post now so I won't seem like such a loser.
Not that anyone is reading this.
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